Like Foursquare...check this out. Earn $$ for your check-ins!

So, its been quite a while since I blogged, but I couldn't pass this up for all of you who use foursquare for your check-ins. With this app, when you check in you earn $$.

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Absent Motivation

I’ve noticed that since I’ve gotten old, I’ve slipped into a funk. I’ve become lazy. I used to be so active. Engaged in sports – I figure skated, I played softball, I went to the gym regularly, now sports consist of washers at a BBQ and 12 oz curls; I took pride in my appearance – I never left the house without my hair fixed, makeup done and something appropriate for where I was headed - dressed to the 9’s, I went tanning (which I quit mostly because it is so bad for you and I only get red!), now I roll out of bed, leave most of the time with wet hair, minimal makeup and a hoodie (or t-shirt) and a pair of jeans and sneakers. I related #2 to number one. I have no pride in my appearance because I have allowed myself to get so lazy that I’ve put on weight. I’m not obese or anything, but those size 6’s in my closet from 4-5 years ago DEFINITELY won’t fit anytime soon. How do I get my mojo back? I know what I want, I know how to get it, but yet I find myself constantly telling myself that I’ll start tomorrow…
I have something coming up in a month (I hate keeping secrets, but I just have to right now) that it is very important for me to start running. The fact is – I HATE RUNNING. I always have, even as a child. But this is something that I do have to prepare for. I have to run. Even something that is very important to me is still not enough motivation for me to get off my lazy arse.
Some of you may or may not know – I had a bit of a weight problem 4 or 5 years ago…right when I stopped all the sports and exercising. Heck – I was in my “prime” and I wanted to P-A-R-T-Y…which I did. And in turn, all that beer went straight to my gut. I was dating a D*bag back then who pointed out everyday how much better I would look if I “dropped the lbs”. He went to the gym every day, why couldn’t I? Because I didn’t want to was not an acceptable answer for him, so I went. I lost 20 lbs and I was ecstatic…but that wasn’t good enough for D*bag…he wanted more. At that point – I was devastated, I was so proud of myself and thought that he would be too (hence his name…D*bag). But I didn’t give up; I was destined to please. I became obsessed with losing weight – I lived on turkey franks and tuna fish for 6 months. I went to the gym almost every night. I dropped another 45 lbs. and man was I happy with my results. I was a size 4! Can you believe that! I wasn’t even that my junior and senior year of high school! But guess what…that wasn’t enough. Now, I’m not that stupid…I actually did lose a little more than that, not intentionally, but I looked sick. My proportions were not right for my waist size. (Insert Picture of Heidi Montag here). So I put some back on to balance me out…a size 4 was good for me – but a six, now that was perfect!
So my motivation – some jackass telling me I’m fat and me being young and dumb doing whatever it takes to please him to the point of I’m a size 6 and your still saying I’m fat?! Well it worked, but I’m not with a D*bag now…therein lacking motivation. This time around I need to do it for myself not because someone is telling me to. But how do I motivate myself??

Day 1 - Husbandless

Last night pretty much just sucked in general. I was bored out of my freaking mind without anyone to talk to at the house. What is really funny is that Tony and I don't talk a whole lot when he is there, but I guess its just the fact that I know someone is there makes me feel better. Although, without him being there, I did have a chance to get my kitchen and dining area cleaned up since the Tornado came through a week or so ago (which seemed to only hit my house...). I didn't really feel like cleaning after working all day, but I was bored and it was something to do. So I turned on Pandora and got busy. Trash day was just yesterday and I already have one trash can filled. Tony's going to think I must be sick in the head when he gets home. I figure in my boredom, I'll tackle one thing a night over the next 2 weeks (i.e. the spare bedroom, the office, laundry, etc).

Not tonight though; tonight is my freebie night. I have darts. Which I hate to say it, we will probably lose because of Tony. He won't be there and the past couple of weeks, he's been carrying us.

What I should have done when I got home was run, but I was starving when I got home and after I ate, I had no desire to. Plus, my mom asked me not to run while Tony was gone unless I was running with someone, in case my leg fell off, or I fell in a ditch and no one could find me, or someone abducted me (although I'm sure they would probably gladly return me after about an hour later, if it would even take that long). This is when I wish I had a treadmill. When I couldn't sleep later that night and it was after midnight, I could have went to the treadmill and made myself tired. That might be my next big purchase.

Speaking of which, does anyone have any suggestions on what I should purchase to track how far I've ran and the time when I'm running outside? I live in the 19th century still because I don't have an iPhone still...maybe that should be my next purchase...since everyone keeps saying..."There's an App for that..."

Long Time No See?

Well, its been quite a while since i updated the ol' blog. They cut my ability to do so while at work out and I try with all my might to avoid the computer once I get home from work if at all possible. Lots have happened since I last wrote.

#1 - The smoking issue. Well, that went up in smoke. I don't smoke nearly as much as I used to. For instance, I only had 1 cigarette on Saturday! Not too shabby. (Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that I left my cigs at home and was feeling a bit under the weather....)

#2 - Tony got a job! finally....
There is some traveling involved with this new job though. He left for Garland,TX this morning for two weeks . But as I arrived at his boss's house this morning so he could pick up the trailer, I was assured that he would be home for Easter. He is going to fly him back for the holiday, and then he will have to leave again Monday. I don't mind the traveling as much as he does though. Not that it won't be lonely for a couple of days, but I'm independent and self-sufficient. Maybe I'll actually get some stuff done around the house I've been wanting to do. With no one home to talk too, I'm sure I'll get pretty bored.

#3 - I've returned to the gym. I need to shed some of this weight, SOON! Its getting closer to summer, and the fact that I'm in a wedding in November, I don't want to look like the cow I am now. I also need to be able to run 1.5 miles in under 15 minutes by the middle of May. Tony said I won't be able to do it. The bet is on. I honestly don't know if I will be able to or not. Honestly, I HATE running. I don't like the way I feel, I don't like the pain, and I just really HATE everything about it. But I've heard that it is the quickest way for me to be able to shed these pounds I'm trying to lose. And the fact that someone told me I couldn't do it...watch me.

Thats really the only significant things that have happened since I last posted. Tony's job was the best news I had to post.

Up in Smoke?

2 weeks ago, I posted about how I was on day 4 without a cigarette...one of the hardest things I've ever done...

My question to people that read my posts...How do you think I did?

1) Doing great! Day 18, still no cigarette!

2) I caved, fell off the wagon, threw in the towel. Who am I kidding, I enjoy smoking!

3) Struggling a bit, but I've managed to only smoke when I'm drinking.

So, what do you think? Be honest!

Get Real

Ok, this may sound like the stupidest blog post you might ever read and you might feel a tad bit stupider just from reading it...

I took my acrylic nails off. First time in over 14 years! I didn't think that I even had fingernails under them anymore its been so long since I've seen them. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!! I can't type, I can't pick things up, its kind of like taking away your opposable thumbs! I know this must sound ridiculous to most of the people that read my blog posts, but to me something just isn't right. Out of balance or something. I don't know if I can't get used to this. I do have to say however, that after having fake nails for so long, my real nails are really not in that bad of shape, which must mean that I go to a very good nail salon and they are not damaging my nail beds!

This is the sad part...I am horrible at painting my own nails. I've never done this before...I've painted my toes, sure, but never my own finger nails. My mom always did it for me growing up, then I've had fakes after that. I've always paid to get my nails done. And obviously, I'm going to have to continue to pay because when I do it, they look like crap. Not to mention that I got nail polish on my couch (which I got out immediately of course).

On another note, I'm on day 4 without a cigarette. Doing good so far...but we will see what the weekend brings. I haven't posted anything about it yet because after my failed attempt last year, I didn't want to be a loser twice. I'm sure I will be, but at least this time, I'm not really having to many cravings. Hmmm....maybe its because Tony is trying to quit with me. Although he's still smoking, he's only been doing about 3-4 a day which is good for him.

Tomorrow's Itinerary

Itinerary? Really? Yeah right...

Anyway, we are planning on meeting at Muddy Waters on Main St. in St. Charles around 7:30-8 PM if anyone is interested in going. Should be a pretty good time.

Did I forget to mention?

Did I forget to mention that Friday (the night we are going to celebrate my birthday) would have also been Grandma's 96th birthday. (Tear) so for you girls that I called out or shamed, it was more of a sympathy call out, to help keep me focused on having fun and not so emotional. We will party it up for not just me, but grandma too! Oh and for Teresa, cause that's her birthday too! Not that she reads my blog,but incase she does, I'm not trying to take all the credit for her day too! Even though, I'm knd of a big deal...lol

I'm kind of a big deal...

Do you know who I am? I don't know how to put this but....I'm kind of a big deal. People know me...I'm kind of important, uh...I have many leather-bound books, and my house smells of rich mahogany.
Wait....can I start over? I wanna say something, put it out there...and if you like it you can take it and if you don't, you can send it right back...

ITS MY BIRTHDAY SUNDAY!

Normally, I could care less, another day, another year older, not too much to celebrate. But as some of you know, my 2010 didn't get off to a good start and with everything I've been going through in the past few weeks, I decided that this year we needed to celebrate. A few years back, I was in a funk and declared myself not a birthday, but a birth month. It was freakin' awesome, and definitely got me out of my funk, but I think it took this many years later for my liver to recover from that 1 month. So this time, I'm lessening it to a day of play rather than a month.

We haven't nailed down the exact details, but we are going to be going somewhere down on Main Street in St. Charles Friday evening. I'm not a club person, so it will probably be at some hole in the wall bar. I'd love to see everyone on a good note, I know I saw a lot of you last week, but I really wasn't in the mood for socialization.

I'll post details once they are final. Hopefully, a few of you can make it (ahem...Rachel and Jamie) and if you can't...I'll drink one for you. But of course, it would mean more to me if you were there physically, not just in spirit! :-P

A Case of the Mondays...

Monday's suck for me. I don't know why, there is no explanation, doesn't matter whether I do anything exciting, strenuous, etc. on the weekend, Monday's just suck!

And this one officially sucks the big one because I decided this morning to try out Weight Watchers for a bit, just to see what happens. This counting points is for the birds, but so far so good. Tony and I didn't really make any new years resolutions, but rather promises to each other to try to make some improvements to ourselves, some goals to do together, but this was one that I had to do on my own. If he lost any weight, he would just disintegrate.

The next battle for the both of us starts next week (again). We are both going to attempt (try #2 for this year for us) to quit smoking. This will be the hardest goal to accomplish. Tony and I actually quit for 2 days right after new years. We were doing good until I got the call from dad about Grandma one morning, then I threw it out the window and said screw it, give me a cigarette. Tony just followed my lead. For those of you that have read my blogs for some time, you know that I attempted to quit last year and made it a little over a week...I think this time will be easier for me since Tony is quitting with me.

Finally, I am going to try a little harder this year to keep up on keeping the house clean. I'm a bit of a clutter bug, who doesn't pick up after myself, and at times, just plain lazy. Not that Tony is a whole lot better (of course he thinks he is). I'm sick of coming home every night to a messy house - which of course, there is no excuse for especially since Tony has been laid off since last April. But I'm thinking that if maybe I make a better effort at keeping it clean, he will as well. We will see how that goes.

Getting Old

I think I'm finally starting to age...

I turn 29 next Sunday...1 more year till the big 3-0! Getting older does not bother me, however the fact that its Friday, 2 people have called and asked me to go out and all I really want to do is sit on the couch tonight does bother me a little. What is wrong with me? Why do I not feel like going out? I am always in the mood to go somewhere! But then I figured it out...its not that I don't want to go, or that I don't feel like going, but its more that I can't recuperate quite like I used too. I feel like crap the next day. Then my whole day is wasted. Plus, tomorrow night we have a 30th birthday party to go to, so that should means I'll be worthless all day Sunday. I don't want to have 2 days in my weekend off where I feel horrible and can't do anything productive other than gorge myself with grease.

Speaking of drinking, I recently tried the new Bud Select 55 (I think that is what it is called anyway). I think this is going to be my new beer of choice. It definitely doesn't beat my favorite Bud Light, but its not bad for the number of calories that are in it...only 55 and only 1.9 carbs compared to Bud Lights 110 calories and 6.6 carbs and Bud Selects 99 calories and 3.1 carbs. Its kind of like drinking water, but I can make a sacrifice to keep the lbs off...its starting to get harder for me to keep the weight off. Once again, back to the opening line of this blog entry...I think I'm starting to age.

At lunch today, the girls I went with were talking about joining Weight Watchers and going to a meeting once a week down the street. I've never been on WW's before. I plan on spending part of my afternoon doing some research. I've put on a little bit of weight since the wedding and with the holidays that I would love to shred and then some by summer. I want to get back into the size 4 that I was wearing 5-6 years ago...I miss my waistline. Any one whose done WW before, please leave a comment about what you think. I'll look forward to your posting.

2009 in Retrospect

I saw on Kathy's Blog that she posted her memories of 2009 month by month. And also on Jamie's Blog, she posted her top 10. My memory is horrible! In fact, I can't even remember what we did for my birthday this past year - more than likely, I spent it at Rookies! So, while I would like to go month by month, I'll just post some of the things that I do remember from last year.

January - My birth month...and grandmas 95th birthday. Wait...now I remember what I did on my birthday. We had a huge party at Yacovelli's for me and grandma! How could I forget that? It was a good time. All my favorite family members were there and quite a few of my friends. In this month I also finished the Twilight saga. I really enjoyed reading these books and it made me realize how much I had missed reading. It got me back in the swing of things. Since them I've read the vampire diaries series and now I'm starting the House of Night Series. Val gave me the book to borrow and told me they were good. I still need to get up on the Sookie Stackhouse books...or maybe switch to some books that don't involve vampires. January was also the very first time I scrapbooked. I didn't think I would like it at first, but turns out, I do! Thanks Rachel!

February - as I remember it was a pretty uneventful month, with the exception of Tony going back to work after being laid off since November. At the beginning of the month, we had Kevin & Laura in town, Tony's navy buddy, and we went to a blues game with them, proceeded to Sundeckers after till close, then to Lumiere Casino, then took a cab to white castle. If no one has ever experiences Whities in the City on Broadway at 3 AM, they definitely should! Superbowl, Tony and I spent at home together. We made snacks and pizza and watched the game in our PJs from the couch. We skipped Mardi Gras this year. I'm sick of freezing my tail off outside on a wet street just to get drunk. I think we actually went to Rookies that night...imagine that...

March - this is always an eventful month for us. St. Patty's Day aka Val's Birthday Celebration! This year my sis-in-law and I went down Friday night to Maggie's for Val's birthday. After getting into a fight with the manager, we left and went to Sybergs where Val and I proceeded to sing karaoke. Did you know I could rap? I didn't either, but apparently I'm not that bad...remember...we were down in the city. The next day, we followed normal tradition and went down for the parade then proceeded back to Maggie's parking lot to dance on our coolers. Its like a freakin' reunion down there every year. Such a good time.

April - started the year of never ending weddings, first with Tony's friend Tim, and then with Jimmy and Michelle Hellyer. It was also when Tony was laid off again from Accord Electric. Aside from that April was pretty uneventful to my recollection.

May - had some great memories! This is the month that Tony and I got engaged. May 18th to be exact. And of course, that's one of the only things I remembered from that month. We also had Courtney and Zac's wedding reception at the beginning of the month!

June - Joey and Emily Schoenlau's wedding - we had a good time! It was beautiful. The rest of the next couple of months were filled with wedding planning! We also lost an icon - once of my favorites growing up. Michael Jackson...RIP

July - Garrett and Al's 1 year anniversary! More wedding planning

August - We celebrated Tony's 30th birthday and also my new brother in law Jason's birthday...and Heathers engagement to Jeremy! I also went to Nickelback that month! It was great!

September - Mike and Shanarah William's Wedding. Again, another great time! Other than that, pretty uneventful month other than wedding plans. Another of my favorites gone! Patrick Swayze - RIP...nobody puts baby in the corner! I love that movie!!!

October - Pricilla and Mark Liese's wedding. Blast! Danced all night, then proceeded back to Rookies afterwards. Also Halloween - we had a block party this year complete with a bonfire and trick-or-treaters. It was a good time. Grandma and Aunt Joan came over to hand out candy. Grandma had a good time as usual seeing all the kids dressed up. I'm glad she came again this year.

November - The month I waited all year for. My wedding day! We had such a good time. I wouldn't have changed any thing at all! Everyone was great! And our Honeymoon to Punta Cana. Could have been better, but it will be definitely unforgettable!

December - the usual, with Holidays and New Years Eve. This year we spent New Year's at Blue Sky in Winghaven. It was a good night. IT you happened to be in the car with us on the ride home, you would definitely know how good of a night it was. LOL

Well I don't think I did too bad! Maybe I'll start blogging more now that I have a little more time on my hands. We'll see...no promises of course!

Letting it all Out

I know it has been ages since I've blogged about anything. I've had too much going on with my wedding, the holidays, and now the death of my favorite person in the world, my Grandma. I thought I would use this to vent some of my frustrations, feelings, and pain that I've been feeling in the last week.

Bertha Lillian Geiger-Bunch-Bosqui January 22, 1914 - January 6, 2010

I was extremely close to my grandma. She was an extraordinary lady; she had a huge heart, and while she didn't always spoil with monetary items, she spoiled me with love...lots of it. She was there for almost every important event on my life's journey into adulthood. She never missed a play, a band recital, a birthday, Christmas, graduation, and of course, what means the most to me right now, she was there to see me walk down the aisle on my wedding day. (And she partied with us till the very end of the night, she was one of the last to leave)

I have so many memories with grandma, there are too many to just pick a single one. They were all wonderful.

Grandma had a stroke on Sunday, January 3 in the morning. She was awake and talking afterwards, but paralyzed on the left side of her body. They kept her overnight and through Monday. She seemed to be doing much better, until Monday evening, she possibly had another stroke. Tony, Garrett, and I were there Monday night. I sat at her bedside and told her how much I loved her, I cried, and I thought of all those memories. Then she went to sleep. She never woke back up. Hospice moved her home on Tuesday afternoon and Tuesday night, we went and said our goodbyes. I know she could hear us, but just couldn't respond. She took her final breath on Wednesday morning around 11:30.

The days to follow were filled with funeral preparations, lots of family gatherings, and a lot of tears...mostly mine, I think.

I buried my grandmother yesterday. We had a beautiful visitation in the afternoon. Grandma wore her favorite purple dress. She looked so peaceful, and it almost looked as though she was smiling. Mom did her hair for the viewing and did such a great job. She looked just like she did when she was alive. In the casket I put hush puppy with her (its a very long story...long story short, grandma gave me this when I was a little girl and it was something very special between her and I). Around his neck I tied her favorite flower - a single gardenia. We buried her with a picture of Aunt Joan, and picture of her and Garrett and I from our weddings. They placed those in her hands.

Grandma had 5 children, 10 grandchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren.

I can't explain why I feel so much pain. My heart aches like it never has before. I believe that you can prepare for the expected, but you can never prepare yourself enough to endure the loss of someone so close.

Since I was little till now, Grandma has always sat in her rocking chair with her eyes closed as if she were sleeping, rocking and humming tunes from I'm assuming around the 40's era. Sometimes she would just start belting them out. This would have to be my most significant memories of grandma...something that didn't change from year to year, something that stayed constant until the last few weeks. I'm sure grandma is rocking in her chair right now, humming or maybe even singing, with no pain or suffering. That's the way I want to remember her, she was always happy when she was singing.

Bosqui, Bertha L. entered into rest on Wednesday, January 6, 2010. Born Jan. 22, 1914 to Mathias and Ada Geiger. Beloved mother of Donald (Joyce) Bunch, Elaine (Ron) Hensley, Joan Bunch, Frank (Susie) Bosqui and Cheryl (late Cliff) Woomer; cherished grandmother of Don Jr., Mary, Susan, Daniel, Teri, Julie, Tamra, Deandra, Garrett and Clifford; dear great-grandmother of Thomas, Kristen, Angela, Nicole, Ashley, Staci, Diana, Allison, Benjamin and Adam. She was preceded in death by her first husband Frank Bunch, second husband Daniel Bosqui and granddaughter Diana. Our dear aunt, great-aunt, and friend of many. Services: Visitation will be held Tue., Jan. 12 from 1:00 p.m. until the time of service at 3:00 p.m. at FOREVER BELLERIVE Funeral Chapel (740 N. Mason Rd. Creve Coeur, MO 63141). Interment Forever Bellerive Mausoleum. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the American Diabetes Association (10820 Sunset Office Dr., Suite 220, St. Louis, MO 63127).